Many don’t consider adoption even if they are unsure about abortion and parenting. But adoption provides birth moms a way to pursue their original goals. It also gives another of your choosing an opportunity to add to their family. Finally, modern adoption gives your child a chance to grow and thrive in an environment you choose. It can be a win-win for everyone involved.
But we hear often:
“What if our child ended up with terrible adoptive parents?”
“Wouldn’t choosing adoption for this child make me a bad mom? Would my child resent me?”
“Why would a couple want to adopt if they could have children of their own? I thought adoption was for couples who couldn’t have kids.
All of these are completely normal questions but are rooted in a lot of misconceptions about modern adoption.
Why People Adopt
Some families choose to adopt a child because they cannot have biological children of their own. Many choose to adopt because of a positive adoption experience they, or someone close to them, had. Others adopt because they want to to provide for a child in ways the birth family may not be ready to.
Adoptive Parents are Vetted
Often the hesitation for many birth moms and couples is not being able to trust the adoptive family’s level of care for their child. However, the way modern adoption works is that these adoptive families must go through an intense process including classes, counseling, financial investment, and extensive time investment. They have to deeply want to adopt to go through this. Adoptive parents are put through the wringer on state and national levels, pass countless background checks, and sometimes even undergo psychological testing, to ensure they are suitable to bring a child into their home.
Birth Moms Choose
Here is what is amazing and what so many birth moms and couples don’t realize: they are in the driver’s seat through the entire process!
- The birth family chooses the adoptive family: You know those couples and families that go through that intense vetting process? If they make it through, the biological mom or parents are the ones who choose the adoptive family. Birth parents can review all of a potential adoptive family’s information and can even set up meetings with them before they decide!
- Not only do they get to choose which family will adopt their child, they also get to decide the type of adoption.
- Closed adoption: Maybe a birth mom wants to choose an adoptive family and not stay connected to their biological child at all- they can choose that!
- Semi-open adoption: If a birth mom wants to stay in touch through pictures and emails through the years to be assured of their child’s well being- they can choose that!
- Open adoption: Some may want their biological child to know and spend time with them throughout their lives, a completely open adoption relationship with the birth family- they can choose that too!
The birth mama or couple chooses what kind of adoption and which family gets the privilege of adopting their biological child. Pretty amazing right?
Adoption Can Be a Wonderful Choice.
We are here to shout from the rooftops that birth moms are FAR from “bad moms”. These women are selfless, brave, self-aware, loving, and strong! In fact, they love their child so much that they are willing to put up with morning sickness, mood swings, cravings, and a tough decision…all for another. These incredible, biological mamas deserve to honored and respected.
Though Clarity is not an adoption agency, we do partner with amazing adoption agencies like All Blessings International and Nightlight Christian Adoptions that walk alongside birth moms and dads to navigate the emotions and legal aspects from start to finish.
If you are interested in adoption, don’t hesitate to call and set up an appointment to talk through what this choice could look like for you.
