Kate Mulgrew, Joni Mitchell, and Albert Einstein. Believe it or not, each one of these celebrities at one point in their lives conceived a child they chose not to parent. They are biological parents who chose adoption.
Notice how I didn’t say they “gave up their baby for adoption”? We hear this phrase all the time, but it’s completely inaccurate. As one of our favorites, Brave Love, puts it:
“We understand that adoption is not for everyone. Ideally, no one wants to separate mother from child. So often the brave act of placing a baby for adoption is viewed in a negative light, when in reality it is a selfless, difficult, and loving act a birth mother can make for her child.”
When women come to our clinic, they may not know how they want to move forward regarding their pregnancy. It’s for this reason we like to educate on all three pregnancy options: parenting, abortion, or adoption. Regardless of a client’s decision, she should have all she needs after her Clarity appointment to consider each choice.
After more education, some women find adoption is a better fit for them and their goals than they initially thought. In fact, adoption and abortion have many similarities.
Pursue earlier goals and plans with no change
Wait until you feel ready to raise a child
Choose if you want a long-term relationship with the baby’s father
Continue your education, career, or other goals without added responsibility
Adoption is one of those choices that is often least considered because of false stigmas. However, now biological moms can select the parents they desire for their child and have a connected relationship with them (like receiving information about the child as he or she grows or even annual visits).
You don’t want to have an abortion but don’t want to be a parent
Have risk-factors for post-abortive trauma
Want to provide your child with a specific type of family you feel you cannot
Want to provide your child with emotional or financial security you feel you cannot
Almost daily here at Clarity, we hear a laundry list of reasons of why someone would never consider adoption even though they do not want to be a parent and are completely on the fence about an abortion.
“It would be too difficult.”
“It would make me a bad mother to have a baby and then ‘give it up.’”
“I would be humiliated for the world to know I am pregnant.”
But you know what? Adoption is beautiful and brave and admirable. Hard? Yes. But so is parenting. So is abortion (just Google “abortion physical and emotional side effects” and pick one of the thousands of articles that come up). Plus, adoptive families are amazing.