Women + Porn pt. 1

By July 10, 2018Relationships, Sex

porn and women (1)

Just Google “effects of pornography” right now, dare you. You’ll see countless articles about the negative consequences of male porn use- how it is changing men and really, the fabric of our society. I mean, even we have tackled this important subject before!

But what so many of those articles are missing is another underbelly of the porn industry: yes, porn effects men but it is also teaching volumes to these mens’ female counterparts. And these volumes are ingraining some pretty scary thinking into women’s brains that diminishes the beauty and value of womanhood. Here at Clarity, we want to de-bunk any belief that ties your worth to your sexuality. 

Copy of porn and women

Lie #1: If you want a good relationship, you must give him the kind of sex he wants, even if you’re not into it. AKA:

“If I can’t please him someone (or something) else will.” 

 🚫🚫🚫 FALSE: You deserve to be with a guy who wants you for YOU, not for being able to replicate the sex he watches online. You want your relationship to be based on love and mutual trust, not on your ability to have porn-like sex. And if a sexual connection is the only thing keeping you guys together, maybe it’s time to look elsewhere for the chance at a deeper relationship.

Lie #2: Your self-worth is tied to your appearance and sexual performance. AKA:

“If I am good at _____, I am sexier, more fun, and worth more as a woman.” 

 🚫🚫🚫 FALSE: Your self-worth is tied to SO MUCH MORE than what you look like, how you dress, or whether or not a guy finds you sexually desirable. You are the sum of ALL your parts – your mind, heart, body, and soul. Your sexuality is only a part of who you are! And if your man is not interested in ALL those parts, maybe he’s not the one for you.   

Lie #3: A man could never be fully committed to you mentally or physically. AKA:

“Guys can’t control themselves. They will always watch porn and if I have an issue, I just need to deal with it.”

 🚫🚫🚫 FALSE: As much as many women joke about the contrary, men are not apes. We’re not in the ice age, #hello2018. Guys CAN control their sexual urges for when the time is right. And if your man says “I’m a man. What do you expect? I have to meet my needs.” Then maybe he’s isn’t the kind of man you are looking for.

Lie #4: Verbal and physical abuse is normal and permissible in relationships. AKA:

“It doesn’t really bother me that he “loses his temper” sometimes. I know he still loves me.”

 🚫🚫🚫 FALSE: Some pornography shows these forms of abuse or non-consent as okay, or even “hot” 🤢. That’s a total lie, and is downright dangerous. ANY form of abuse or non-consent (even if you are in a relationship) is WRONG and unacceptable. If you are in an abusive relationship, there is help. Reach out and get the love you deserve.


It’s okay if you recognize some of this thinking in yourself and your relationship. But with honest communication and high standards, you can move forward.

To end and reiterate loud and clear: porn promotes warped ideas about sex and women! Buttttt, women aren’t just being affected by male porn use… 1 in 3 of women are the users themselves(!). In Pt 2 of “Women + Porn”, we will look deeper into why women use porn and how it is just as damaging. 


Beryl (1)

*(Content taken in part from brochure “You, Me & Porn” from LifeChoices Health Network in Joplin, MO)

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