I hope you all have that best friend you can tell all your secrets to, hang out with all summer, and who knows your Chickfila order like the back of her hand. Usually these besties are your age and in a similar life stage… and, don’t get me wrong, there is SUCH amazing goodness found in those kind of friendships.
But some of us have women in our lives who are a few steps ahead of us, the ones we look up to, who are more like an amazing big sister (except she never stole your favorite pair of jeans). These women seem to always know the right answer and we want to be a sponge to soak up all their insight – from makeup trends to our careers, from guys to our life goals.
the big sisters we never knew we needed
I’ve recently found such a big sister woman. She’s not really my big sister (I only have a younger brother), but if I could dream up a perfect big sister- she would totally be it. She’s super sweet, regularly asks me to go out for lunch or coffee, and actually cares about me. She is in a life stage just one step ahead of me and I LOVE that. I love that I can ask her my questions about what I don’t yet understand yet- life, relationships, goals. And while I treasure my girl friends, her advice is just different- she gets it because she has lived it.
We don’t have to know everything, and some people have “been there done that.” So why wouldn’t we take advantage of their wisdom and experience? When I hang out with my friends, sometimes all they want to do is talk about themselves (and please understand- I do want to hear about them and catch up with them). But with this amazing lady, she wants to hear about me, what’s going on with me, how she can help me.
Sounds a little selfish, I know. But I’ve learned, sometimes, it’s OKAY to have people that want to pour into you…and to fight for those kind of relationships.
pour friends + fill friends
We all have our “pour people” – friends we’re constantly “pouring” our time, money, energy into. And usually there is nothing wrong with this, but sometimes it can get, well, draining. But how many of us have a true “fill person” – someone who is filling us up, pouring into us? Another word for this is a mentor. A relationship where the sole purpose is to help you, encourage you, and listen to anything you need to talk about.
We all need at least one “fill person” and you know what? I’m not the only one who thinks so. Oprah Winfrey, as successful as she is, even had a mentor- Maya Angelou.
If we want to get fit, but have never stepped foot inside a gym, what do we do? We hire a trainer (or watch Youtube videos for hours getting advice and tips 😳). If we want to be the next all-star gymnast, we don’t just do cartwheels in the backyard, we hire a coach. Why are we so serious about things like sports but don’t seek counsel about the truly important things- our lives, relationships, careers, and families.
what if we didn’t have to wait?
We’ve all seen those articles about “What I Wish I Knew in My 20s,” where the author talks about what she wishes she could have said to her younger self. What if we didn’t have to wait 20 years for that insight? What if you could sit with someone you respect, who’s older than you, who can tell you to ditch your toxic relationship or finally take that chance and apply for your dream job?
I hope you have a big sister, wise aunt, or a great friend one step up the ladder from you who could be your “fill person”. If not, Clarity has an awesome mentor-program and we would love to introduce you to women just waiting to be a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Let’s fill you up, girl. You’re worth it.